Distillery: The Buzzed

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Gerard Abenson – Budding A-List Celebrity, Pinoy Big Brother alum, doesn’t have dandruff.
Bianca Cristina Dela Santa Cabrera (AC SanLo ‘02, ADMU ‘06) – Socialite, part-time model, often tagged in drunk dancing pictures on Facebook.
Mark Andrew Hoffman (IS ‘05, currently enrolled in Enderun College) – Likes to say “Dude” and “Bro” a lot. Has Justin Bieber hair. Plays football.

It didn’t seem like it was going to be a good night.

We were cramped into one corner of Distillery, forced to stand still and rub butts with complete strangers. We wanted to drink, not get our asses acquainted with new friends. It was late on a Wednesday night, power was out all over the Metro due to typhoon Basyang, and I suppose everybody wanted to get out of the house. The bar no longer allowed drinking and loitering along the street, so everyone squeezed inside. The place was packed, and we were getting discouraged at our prospects of getting drunk tonight.

Right behind us were a group of gay guys in what seemed to be a birthday celebration of one of the group (unsure if said person is The Queen or a Top or a Bottom or a Bear or a Twink). We didn’t mind so much at first, but as the Federation presence got bigger and bigger, we were thrust deeper and deeper into the dark, tight crevices of Distillery. (Notice the very suggestive language I used.) A bright side, though, was that fab fifteen that were echos-ing and kalerky-ing behind us also had some female friends. Now say what you want about homosexuals (we are all for gay rights, by the way; especially the right to drink and party), but you have to admit that our gay brethren always have some of the best-looking girls around them. And as the number of pretty women increased, the less we minded bumping butts.

distillery4distillery2Thankfully, the group transferred to the second floor, where there are a number of tables, chairs, and couches, perfect for larger groups and VIPs. On the first floor, which we suddenly had to ourselves, there are a few cocktail tables by the corner, a long table in the center with a couple of bar stools, and a shelf/cashier/pseudo-bar on the side. On the far wall from the entrance, there’s a large refrigerator with an assortment of foreign beers (We recommend Leffe, Hoegaarden, Chimay, and Samuel Adams haha). Shelved on the adjacent walls are bottles of imported wines, hard drinks, and assorted spirits (Johnnie Walker, Jack Daniels, Patron Tequila, etc.). The most expensive bottle we saw is a bottle of Laphroaig Single Malt Whiskey, which will cost you P42,000. It’s a very small space, and one should be content if he can find a place to put down his drink.

As the night went on, and we drank our bottle of Captain Morgan with some Coke, things got a little more entertaining. We saw John Lloyd Cruz come in with girlfriend Shaina Magdayao to buy some booze and quickly escape. We also saw Jake Cuenca, uncharacteristically clothed, who may or may not have been friends with the previously mentioned celebrant. Though someone did say he passed by the back door (Zing!). Towards the end of the night, a black SUV parked in front of the bar and out came PBA superstar Willie Miller looking for a bottle for him and the homeboys (we’re assuming they don’t have a game the next day). Obviously, Distillery is where the A-Listers come to get their booze on.

distillery3What started out as a night of unwanted butt bumping turned out to be a pretty entertaining and extremely intoxicating night. We could still feel the wrath of Captain Morgan the following day.

TL;DR

The Good – Probably the widest assortment of drinks out there. Great place to try to new ways to get drunk.

The Bad – Really, really small place. Nothing comes cheap.

What P500 will get you – 3 foreign beers and a Coke for your loser friend that doesn’t drink.

Post-amats Foodtrip – There’s a 24-hour McDonald’s branch a short walk away, along Rizal Drive. None of us remember what we ate here that night.

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